I'm moving (on)

I'm moving to a new blog where i can hopefully start a new life (At the risk of sounding too melancholy) and so that He will have a chance to start his life anew too. My life was wonderful with him, and now it is time to let that go, and be wonderful somewhere else. Maybe we'll be friends again some day. Maybe.

It's time to let go of the What ifs and Whys. Because he will find someone someday and He is moving on. And so will I. We just need some time apart, and lots of distance between us.

My old entries are still visible and public of course, as they are, after all, my past. DUH. Time for a quick F.A.Q.

Q: Why don't you just delete this blog since you are moving on and all that..?
A: HAIYO. If I delete this, how will you know I have moved?! Tsk.

Q: What if he's still reading this?
A: What if WHO is reading this? And anyway, He won't be, and even if he is, it's none of my business really.

Q: Are you guys still friends?
A: This is not related to my blog, but uhm. We will be friends in time, I think. When we have both moved on. Who knows. Maybe, maybe not. But I do miss Little Booger a lot though. What I would give to see Him. But I know he is well taken care of, and that is enough for me now.


If you're interested in my life now (ah, you cheeky monkey, you), and (hopefully) my road to recovery, do visit me at my new blog. Of course there will be time where i am feeling really emo, but if you're willing to walk down the road with me, it'll be the best experience you would ever have.* And who knows,you might learn a thing or two (i.e. how to talk to a Crayfish).

*no money back guarantee.

My apologies for those who have linked me up etc. Please change it NOW NOW NOW. Heh. Thank you!

If you like to live vicariously, or if you want to know (more) about me, or if you are just nosey, or if you are stalker, or if you are a friend, or if you like Whitney Houston, or if you love furry things, or if you love to read, or if you don't fit into any of the above catergories, follow me at sarahnonymous.blogspot.com .

The journey doesn't end here. It begins uhm. there. Ok, I'm trying to figure out a dramatic exit but I just can't. Sorry for the super long exit. Should have just done a "Hi, I've moved to *link*". But then agai, we can't spend our lives thinking of what we "should have done" should we? Dang Shouldn't have thought of that. ANYWAYS. This is the end.

Ok thanks bye.

Last time. Can't get enough of this linking thing.

Welcome.

A New Year

A new start, and everything is better now. I am free as a bird. :D

Happily Ever After

And there is no happy ending, and i love him to pieces, but it just can't do. He said this is the best way, so it must be.

i wish circumstances are different, but i know i cannot change, and i won't make life difficult for you.

I am going back to writing in my diary, and i think i will be leaving this blog for awhile.
I'm not ok, don't think i will be for some time, but i will try to be ok. I can be reached by my moble, though maybe i may be in another world.

How long i don't know. But i know i must start over again. And accept the things I cannot change.

I have loved, love, and will love you. And if there is ever a chance again. I wish. i wish i wish. But we can't bring back things that are gone. We have to pick ourselves up and start again.

Start again.

Some quotes and poetry from Edna St. Vincent Millay that reflect beautifully what i feel.

"They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I don't think it's possible for you to miss me as much as I'm missing you right now"

"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell."

And my favourite:

"I know what my heart is like
Since your love died:
It is like a hollow ledge
Holding a little pool
Left there by the tide,
A little tepid pool,
Drying inward from the edge."

goodbye all.

Phases 1 2 and three.

And then you realize that I'm not all you need
When you have made yourself all I want
and there are tears in my eyes from
the sorrow

Ok, I tried being poetic, but guess it didn't work. anyways, I'm kinda going through a rough patch. Pumpkin patch. Acne patch (whihc i am addicted to) Uh. where was I.. Ohyeah. I was very sick.. and now. Well.

I guess it's one of those things that was bound to happen.. I know we were inseperable, but i guess like every conjoined twin, there is one that longs to be a part from the other (Ok, this is not a fact, but i am assuming this..) And thought he has not said it, and it may seem like the ball is in my court, it really isn't. Yes, I have to make sacrifices because a relationship involves both sides.

And well, I guess when someone you love says certain things, it becomes a bigger deal. You start to think, am i planning for the future the wrong way? Am i showing too much concern? How mush is too much? What should I care about? What shouldn't I? Am I a control-freak? Am I thinking too much because you say I am thinking too much? Am I crying too much? Should I stop? Should I be questioning myself? Who am I? Who are you? What the hell? Do I love nigahiga?

I guess he is right, and he is right and he is right. He needs time to sepnd with his friends as well. And I can't be selfish like that. So, I guess I will be a lot more free now. Or maybe not.. I plan to embark on some projects of my own the coming holidays.. like making my own pinhole camera! And my three lens camera is arriving in mid-December.. fingers crossed! And oh, I might do what Qinxin does.. Go on a "retreat". Haha.

Anyhoos. I am okay, despite my sounding not so okay. No wait, i take that back, I'm not so okay. but it's okay. It's like the MCR song. I'm not okay. ok, wat, that's not okay, but I'm ok. Or not. Shit. I'm so confused already. Go away thoughts. I am sick enough already as it is.

And then I'm supposed to feel that everything is back to normal? I once made this famous comment (which i took from a book). no man ever needs space.. Unless he's an astronaut. If your dude needs space, it means he wants out. So does he want out? I don't know. He says no. But it certainly feels like it. And what about the feeling of love? How do you know it still exists? there are no nice words, just obligatory feelings, and fumbling words, making small talk , trying to get the spark back.

In our rush to be live our lives we have forgotten how to enjoy life. the journey is as important as the end. But if we only see the end, then we might miss some things along the way.

Ok, sorry i'm emo-ing. I would have posted this on my uber private blog, but i guess. It doesn't matter anymore.

"Anywhere you go, let me go too.. love me... That's all I ask of you"

F.A.Q.

1) Have you and Jevan broken up?
A: Nope. we are still together.. Just that we are not awesome couple. Haha. We are now humans.

2) Why are you making your private life public?
A: Because nobody reads this except you people I love so...

3) Whay are you listening the "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack again?
A: BECAUSE IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

4) Do you have baby guppies in your tank?
A: Yes, there are few fry!! About 7! They are incredibly tiny.. smaller than half of my last fingernail!

Ok that's all I can think iof today. My brain is frazzled. I'm so confused. And absoutely fabulous.

becoming.

I don't think I could ever be real friends with someone who doesn't like (to the extent of hating) animals.

It doesn't matter if you like hamsters or fish or dogs or even *gulp* frogs. The fact is that you have the capability to love another being, that breathes and lives, it certainly says something about you.

And it's okay if you are impartial to them. They're okay, as long as they don't have polarised views I guess.

Sometimes people favour certain animals over others.. It's alright. It's natural to like some animals more than others.

Then there are those who can't because of health reasons.

Ohwell. Doen't mean you can't like them.

I'm so upset and I think I'll just go into my little shell and I think animal lovers will understand in only the way that they can when i say that animals are completely not like people. Even Cray cray will listen to me and she's not judgemental about anything. And she doesn't mind if i don't do well in my exams or if i don't complete my assignments. Or if i don't want to do anything all day.

And i'm not sad to say it, but i love animals a lot more than i like people in general. I like some people, but it's not the same.

Ohwell. Ok, i guess i sound like I'm rambling, and that's what I'm going ot do now is to shut up because i am talking to people and i need to censor myself and i need to restrain some things and hide some truths and maybe tomorrow, when i wake up, i will be an animal.

An earful of trouble.

Today I was in the CATI lab (it's a computer lab of sorts, where each computer is in a little cubicle side by side) printing my readings. So after awhile, I got kind of bored and i decided to watch some videos on Youtube.

So of course, being the considerate person I was, I put in my own headphones. And then i unmuted the thing. And for some reason, I did not check that the volume was on at maximum, and suddenly my ears were blasted with a VERY LOUD talking of the person in the video. So i quicky turned the volume down a bit, just in case my neighbours could hear.

I was enjoying my video, when halfway through (at about 50 seconds) my ear got a little bit itchy. So of course, the natural thing to do was to take out the earplugs right?

And so I did, and thank god i did not pause the video, because when i removed one side of my headphone, i COULD STILL HEAR THE SOUND. And it was definitely LOUD AND CLEAR.

I didn't dare to see how many people were affected by this, and i was wondering what went wrong. So i clicked on everything and I realized to my horror that the headphones were plugged into the "mic" jack.

To everyone in the CATI lab who was affected by my "How to wear fake eyelashes" tutorial, I truly apologise.

But on the bright side, you know how to prep yourself and apply lash glue now!

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